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Naquadak
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Name: Carolyn
Birthday: 7/29/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: I love apples, my amazing friends, really warm hugs, Rodney Christoff, corn, card games, dancing with arrows, salad, freckles, Steve Zissou, baking, drawing, Star Trek, Tripods, dreaming of you, (oh, what can I do?), geniuses, Victor Krum, Jake, Elwood, panties, Coldstone, almonds, Dr. Cox,
Occupation: Customer service/support
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/24/2004
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| BAM!
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| I can't wait to come home and see my friends. | | |
| "Did I see you outside of East Quad last night trying to climb a tree?"
"Yes! But I wasn't drunk."
"That was under suspicion."
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Me, Dan, Hedwig.
Here's to a month!
My thanks to Lisa for the sexy layout. | | |
| Sometimes I just wish I were a lesbian. Boys are so much trouble
Speaking of trouble, Jon was trouble. He was a lot of trouble.
I like this fresh feeling. I don't hate Sarah Graves anymore. I'm not angry at Jon anymore for all of his garbage. He doesn't like me being in this relationship, but it sure helped me get over all of the crap he did. I dont even think about it anymore, and when I do, it just goes through my head without stopping. I really hate talking about it anymore. I hate it when people ask about it. I try to summarize as cleanly and painlessly as possible- "He cheated. It really messed with me. It was complicated."
I really like who I am now. Jon is right, I have changed. I'm not manipulative and jealous anymore, or at least I don't feel that I am. I don't know why he isn't grateful. I think a few people know about the dynamics of the relationship Jon and I have. I think a few people know I could be pretty dishonorable and deceitful. This was a tough break for him, but it's the right thing for both of us.
Jon, did you really want me to cling to you forever? You say you wish I were dating you instead of Dan, but if you think about it, that is a really...terrible idea. I don't even think we like each other that much anymore, and haven't for a while, but we just felt too alone to let go of each other. I know I did. But then Dan came along, and now I don't need you anymore. It sounds like a tough reality, but think about it. Needing someone is an emotionally distressful situation. You don't need me either, even though it feels like you do right now.
You and I are terrible for each other. I think anyone can vouch for that. Emily was completely right about me that night you went to visit her. I'm sorry I fought you about it. I'm defensive. This new space between us is incredible, I hope you realize that soon. We can still be great friends. Better friends, even, now that we're not trying to keep each other to ourselves.
Sigh. We have such a terrible relationship.
I'm not pleading for comments. I want to know what everyone's honest opinion is.
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